Hi! Here's a little number I wrote back in 2000 when Dinosaurs still roamed the Earth and you were still just a twinkle in your father's eye (What? It could've happened...):
The Afterlife
a short play by Matt Dow
Copyright 2000 by Matt Dow
a subsidy of Dave and Betsy Dow since 1979
Cast:
Jack...........................................................................................The dearly departed
Mrs. Smith................................................................................The grieving mother
Madam Grace.....................................A world renowned Medium (part time large)
Megan....................................................................The departed's sister (a believer)
William................................................................The departed's brother (a skeptic)
Roberts......................................................Mrs Smith's butler (and another skeptic)
Scene one: the Smith home. It is the third anniversary of Jack Smith's death. His mother, brother, sister, and the world renowned medium (and part time large) Madam Grace have gathered to try and speak to Jack in the afterlife. As the curtain lifts Megan and William are talking FRONT STAGE LEFT
WILLIAM: Megan, I can't believe you're encouraging mother with this psychic nonsense. It's ridiculous, this Madam Grace is nothing but a fraud.
MEGAN: You mustn't say that William, Madam Grace is world renowned. Besides Mother needs this, it's closure. You know poor Jack's death in that car crash shook her to no end.
Mrs. Smith and Madam Grace enter from STAGE RIGHT followed by Roberts. Roberts is carrying a small table.
MRS. SMITH: Oh thank you for coming Madam Grace. It is an honor to have a medium of your stature in my home.
ROBERTS (to audience): And it's amazing the home can withstand her stature.
MADAM GRACE: If we speak to Jack, then the honor is mine Mrs. Smith.
Roberts places the table FRONT STAGE CENTER and starts to gather five chairs, William and Megan help.
MADAM GRACE: Please tell me a little about Jack.
MRS. SMITH: Oh, he was a wonderful boy, played track in college. Went all the way to the nationals. His coach thought he could have been an Olympian if he hadn't... If he hadn't... hadn't...Oh Jack (starts crying).
Megan comes over and she and Madam Grace comfort Mrs. Smith as William and Roberts finish getting ready by turning down lights.
MADAM GRACE: There there now Mrs. Smith, in all the years I've been a medium I've reunited hundreds of people with their loved ones on the other side.
MRS. SMITH: Oh Madam Grace do you really think you can help me contact my Jack?
MADAM GRACE: Of course I do Mrs. Smith. Now if everyone is ready Please sit around the table and join hands.
Everyone sits around the table in the following order: Megan, Mrs. Smith, Madam Grace, William, and Roberts Leaving a space so the audience can see all of them.
MADAM GRACE: I shall begin. I beg ye, oh mystic voices of the cosmos, help us to contact one who has departed the mortal plane three years hence. Please help us to contact Jack Smith, oh great and wise benefactors I beg of thee. Ohwha!
EVERYONE (after a little prompting from Madam Grace): Ohwha!
MADAM GRACE: Tafoo!
EVERYONE:Tafoo!
MADAM GRACE: Liam!
EVERYONE: Liam!
MADAM GRACE (pretending to go into a trance): Ooooommmmm. Ooooooommmmmm.
Ooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Jack Smith can you hear me?
From off stage THE GHOSTLY VOICE OF JACK SMITH:Yes.
Everyone is shocked, especially Madam Grace, she was faking it.
MRS. SMITH:Jack? Son is that you?
JACK (less ghostly): Yes mother.
MADAM GRACE:Jack will you speak to us?
JACK (his voice is almost normal now): Yes.
MRS. SMITH: Oh Jack what is it like on the other side?
JACK (his voice is totally normal now): Dark.
MEGAN: You mean a bleak world of black and white, full of shadow and totally depressing beyond all human understanding?
JACK: No, it's dark, as in no light. The opposite of bright, ya know, dark.
MRS. SMITH: Oh Jack have you seen God?
JACK: Yes.
WILLIAM: What did he look like?
JACK: He had a flashlight.
MRS. SMITH: Did he say anything to you?
JACK: I couldn't really hear him and he was walking away from me, and when I started to follow I tripped.
WILLIAM: You tripped?
JACK: Yeah, it happens a lot.
MRS. SMITH: Jack, I recently found out that I'm going to die in the next six months, is there anything I can do to prepare myself for the afterlife?
JACK: Yeah, bring matches.
WILLIAM (mockingly): Because it's dark?
JACK: No, a couple of the other guys are smokers, and they dropped their matches.
WILLIAM: I find that a little hard to believe.
JACK: It's true, in fact most of the guys I've met are smokers, unfortunately they didn't bring cigarettes or matches.
MADAM GRACE: Jack have you met anyone famous? Like a Philosopher or something?
JACK: I think I might have bumped into Elvis.
WILLIAM: Elvis?
JACK: Yeah, I bumped into this guy and when I apologized he said, "Not a problem" he had a southern accent and was kinda fat, plus a few days later he sang a pretty good "Blue Suede Shoes".
MADAM GRACE: Have you met anyone else? Someone with a message for the world of the living maybe?
JACK: No, not really. Like I said, it's pretty dark.
ROBERTS: Master Jack, are you trying to say that the entire afterlife is some big, dark room where everyone walks around bumping into each other?
JACK: Well, yeah. Pretty much.
MEGAN: Jack I need to know...
JACK (interrupting her): Listen I gotta go. Mom, I'll see you when you get here, er, I mean I'll feel around for you when you get here. It was nice talking to everybody. Bye.
MRS. SMITH: Jack, Jack are you there?
MADAM GRACE: No, I'm afraid the connection has been severed.
WILLIAM: I just don't believe it. Dark?
MEGAN: That's what he said.
ROBERTS: Hey we learned one thing.
MADAM GRACE: Oh really, what's that?
ROBERTS: Elvis is dead.
Curtain closes.
There ya go. If any of you theatrical types wanna put on a show all I ask is that you include my name and the copyright information. (Posting pictures and video online is also appreciated.) (And large sacks of money are too.)
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